I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Terrible idea I love it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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