1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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