mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
they're like a gay fantastic four
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
