I wish I could punch you in the face.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
