Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
