im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Fuck appropriateness.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
