Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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