lets start a swedish sibling band together
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize