Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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