i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
