I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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