Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
