i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
