Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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