This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
