You can't special order awesome
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
