i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
