Whats the glycemic index on semen?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
