the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize