On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
