is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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