I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
high people should be assigned attendants
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
