Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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