I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i came on her dog
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
