I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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