stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
