Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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