Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
