Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
