I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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