So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
