U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Randomize
