Is it normal to miss your booty call?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
you never un-have a 4some
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