What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
