my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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