what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
