Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize