Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
