He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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