dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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