It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
