in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
