Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
