kristin has been a bad kristin
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
