TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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