look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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