haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
