I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
