so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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