omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
