U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
