she woke up with a sticky ear
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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