We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
