I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize