thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
