dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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