you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Did I show you my penis last night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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