So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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