So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
