Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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