69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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