Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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