Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
