Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
